I think it’s really cute that my middle aged coworker goes out every day to have an hour long lunch with his wife. Apparently it’s their alone time since the kids are at school (they have two grade school kids, so it must be pretty busy at home). I hope I get to do that someday.

For the first time ever, my dad is not claiming me as a dependent. So I have to do my own taxes. 

Holy fuck I’m old now. 

Did a bunch of other stuff concerning my finances and household today. It’s been a bit crazy here since my grandmother went off the deep end and moved back in with my parents. I feel awful for my parents-they’ve spent the last 23 years taking care of my brother and I (and they’re still taking care of my brother, since he’s a bit off kilter as well) and now, just as my dad retires, they have to take care of my grandparents too. They got one vacation to Hawaii in last year but they probably won’t be able to take another one for a while. 

Everything is so different now. I’m working, paying bills, paying taxes. My grandparents are no longer the lively people who would take me to the park. I’ve known this has been a long time coming but it’s still strange. 

I am so ready for the next five months to be over. 

It’s kind of like listening to a really lovely song but every few seconds, someone pauses it for what feels like forever and you’re just listening to nothing, waiting and hoping for them to push play again. I’m waiting for the day I have control of the radio and I can just let it play forever and ever

I’m being dramatic. It’s really not that bad. It’s actually amazing, moreso than I could have ever imagined. It’s just so torturing, sitting here in silence, save for my yellow clock ticking the time away. It’s a bittersweet sound. Each tick is a second closer, but there’s so many more to go.

Fuuck I need to go to bed and stop vomiting my delusional lonely thoughts onto the internet. SLEEP. NOW.

I’ve never written down my top 5 celebrities/famous people I’d totally bang, and I always forget their names when it comes up in conversation (which is more often than you’d think) so here goes, for future reference.

Girls:

Olivia Wilde

Emma Stone

Miranda Kerr

Mila Kunis

Natalie Portman

Guys:

Ryan Gosling

Ewan McGregor

Michael Fassbender

Young Harrison Ford

Ryan Reynolds

Honorary Mentions: David Tennant, Hugh Jackman and Rachel McAdams

So pretty much, if my awesome boyfriend ever manages to get any of these people in the sack, I won’t be mad-unless he doesn’t invite me :(